I was.
You see, after the suicide death of a loved one, especially a child or a spouse, you feel that you contributed to their decision to leave the relationship. You feel partly responsible, don’t you? I fully understand that line of thinking, but today, I would like to introduce you to Milton Vincent, the author of A Gospel Primer for Christians, and I would recommend you purchase this book. It’s a short book, but it will bless you for the rest of your life! Honestly!
Listen to this wonderful quote from his book, “As long as I am stricken with the guilt of my sins, I will be captive to them, and will often find myself re-committing the very sins about which I feel most guilty. The Devil is well aware of this fact; he knows that if he can keep me tormented by sin’s guilt, he can dominate me with sin’s power.” (Page 19)
What do we do with our guilt after a suicide loss? I buried it deep down inside me, and never talked about it for years. I put on my happy face, and never grieved. That was a terrible mistake, and I can testify to the fact that my mistake added years to my recovery. I was held captive to my intense guilt by not confronting it, pushing it ever deeper inside.
Eventually I had to face the enemy, and shortly thereafter, my friend and mentor, Andrea, sent me The Gospel Primer for Christians. It was God’s life-preserver in my sea of guilt. I read the book, over and over again. I read every Bible passage shared, and wrote notes in the margin. It was there in the pages of this little book that I really and finally understood God’s miracle of Grace in my grief.
You see, God’s love, mercy, and grace is not just for unbelievers. Listen to this, “God did not give us His gospel just so we could embrace it and be converted. Actually, He offers it to us every day as a gift that keeps on giving to us everything we need for life and godliness.” (Page 5)
Rest, relax, rejoice over this truth: “So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 5:21 NLT
That’s your gift of Grace for today from your friend,
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